By: Judie Brown
It is no surprise that we can find ourselves taking each other for granted. One way of knowing this to be true is how often we finish each other's sentences. At times, we need to pull back a bit and inject a fresh infusion of variety. Below are 4 tips to great communication in your relationship that will help you do just that.
1. Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, lack of communication is usually the culprit. In order to rebuild that relationship, communication needs to be renewed. This will require that both individuals agree that "we need to talk".
Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Agree that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. Within that agreement, also be up front that you will not necessarily agree with everything. That is perfectly fine. Remember, you are two individuals desiring to save the relationship and you may simply need to "agree to disagree" on some things. In fact, always fighting over things you don't agree with might be how you got to this point in the first place!
Caution is key here: if you do not agree, do not yell at each other. That most likely has already been tried, with no success, right? Rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, both individually and as a couple.
2. A Night of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships are not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. Often, when relationships experience the day to day stresses that life throws at you, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other.
However, the intimacy within any relationship is a vital part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship. Think of the old saying "let's kiss and make up" and truly apply it when tensions arise. And, although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial.
As a suggestion: make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine. Or you might reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room. No matter how you approach it, intimacy is a needful part of a strong, healthy relationship.
3. Dinner Party
Here's an idea: start a new tradition by hosting a dinner party every other month. Invite several of your friends that you don't often see. Consider having everyone bring a favorite dish.
In addition to the dinner aspect, why not set up board games that everyone will enjoy? You could also have some light and lively music playing during the evening. You could make it a theme evening, complete with appropriate attire. Whatever you decide to do, plan to have a blast!
Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is also a great way to reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. All too often, as the relationship progresses, friends you once had begin to drop by the wayside. This is a wonderful way to keep those friendships alive and now interact with each other's friends as a couple.
4. Happy Birthday
As people age, the tendency is to place less and less emphasis on birthdays. This is usually under the impression that we are getting older and don't want to be reminded of that fact. Even if the birthday is recognized, gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate's next birthday, consider taking some time to plan something very special.
Make this a true celebration of their life by showing your love and appreciation in a unique way. Every person, including adults, love to be appreciated. Whether you make it a surprise party or a time of intimacy, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.
Remember, it is not a good idea to emphasize their age by purchasing black balloons or placing the exact number of candles on the cake and expecting them to blow them all out. What you are really after is any excuse to show love and affection, and a birthday is a perfect time to do just that.
Relationships are meant to be fun. We often forget that fact. With the right attitude and some unique ideas on how to make yours successful, you both can have a life spent together full of laughter and adventure!
